Giving without receiving

Hey, i always think that everything in life must go by both sides.we couldnt just give without receiving any returns.Thats what i thought..but too bad.seems like all im doing is giving.and im not receiving anything.either in friendship or anythings in life.kinda sad as im the only one who sacrifice things, giving things,passion, and worked so hard for this friendship..and what i received?none!

Im not expecting any returns. i just hope things can flow by both sides.without me always be the one who sacrifice things for others happiness.always make people laugh,forget their sadness,Im giving all these.and who cares when Im sad? no one..its good that im used to it.

But all things cant go this way.Im tired.extremely tired.and im nearly give up on these.Whats the point of giving so much passions, sacrifice all my important things just for them if they dont even care or doing the same things as i do? Im just asking for understanding.things cant go just by me.who always be the one active.

There's no point to care bout others who dont even care bout me.kinda regret all those sacrifying things ive done.

Maybe from now on, i should live for myself.think for myself and not for others..

Married?

Well...how do you feel when one of your friends is getting married soon?
That's what happened to me.I was shocked! till i told her that April fool's day has gone so many months ago! Lol..

Yeahh..she's getting married soon..when I'm still single...
Is it me that enjoy my single life too much when I should have find someone for life? or is it her that get married too fast? Idk..but I was too shocked when she told me that she has already book the reception place and decided the wedding date since some months ago..Lol..

Anyway,Wish u all the best for your upcoming married life, friends!
Ive never thought that you'll get married that fast...(Since you said you wouldnt) =)

between real and unreal..

Your existence give lots of meanings to my life..
What I gotta do?
Cant get you out of my mind...
Ive tried to tell myself that I've been thinking too much..
and maybe memories between us just come out so sudden..
That makes me kinda miss that time..
When we shared things together..
When I felt that you are the most comfortable person for me to rely on..
But now things have changed..
You and I were not the one we used to be..
And maybe its only me who still carry on our memories..
You have moved on..
But its getting hard on me...
I miss you in my life..

My best buddies, Make it last forever..!!

I've back from holiday last week...Hmm..Its an awesome holiday!really..we ate a lot, shop a lot, and talked a lottt!!Lol..Those days when I was with them was awesome..for real...I love those two guys..Vin n Di...who have been my best buddies for the past six years...We chatted about lots of things...and on the forth night, we ( Me, Di, Vin n Lice ) chatted at TCC till 2am..!!we always spent our time thoughtfully..for where we're going, what to eat, shop, etc..Hey Its Singapore, u know? its Our Food and Shop Paradise!!

We ate our lifetime-favourite xiaolongbao from Imperial, my super favourite Fish n Co, and so on..We shopped together the last day..when Hadi has free ady since his father has back to Medan on our third day..He shop quite a lot..and one thing i realised when i shopped with them...we picked things quickly, got it tried, and paid the bill in less than 10 minutes..lol...I love the way we shop.we dint waste our time by think about it over and over again..that was a waste of time! Its holiday! just buy what u want when it fits, and the price was affordable!

On the last day we hang out together, i feels like crying when i said goodbye to Di and Vin..5 days seems so fast as Hadi just joined us on the third day. We surely feels like getting back to our uni life in sg...Its been 3 years since the last time we were in sg..sad..as Vin also said that he felt so sad when I'm back to Medan and Hadi back to US..Last year mood back again..when we were in Vin's car...but this was way better than last year...ughh...saying goodbye to them means the time we should go back to reality...Me, struggling with loads of works and a super strange boss, Vin, with all his job applications, and Hadi, struggling with his final year uni...


Then Im here now..in my lonely rooms..with my lovely laptop, iphone , and songs accompany my life.Im so tired of going out since I back from sg..dunno why..Im just way too addicted to Kdramas till i dun feels like going out at all.I want to be at home till infinite time..maybe till the time Im bored with these dramas and I got the strength to walk out from home (Except for work).

Am I feeling better?YES...dunno why..i dun feel like going insane since Im back from sg as I've promised myself and them..that I'll live my life with joy. and I believe things will be getting better and better..

Thanks for everything, Vin and Di...
You two surely took such a big part in my life..
Our Friendship...Make it last forever...=)

Holiday, Pals!

Hey..Its holiday! I got 5 days to spend this year due to the Islamic New Year..Did you know how I spent it? Ive been at home for these two days..which means, I havent stepped out from home and see the world for two days..I spent this holiday by watching lots of dramas..Starting from Vampire Diaries, Calling Big Star, to Still Want To Marry..I watched them all..and when I felt tired of it, I started to watch movies...and till know Ive watched I Love You Beth Cooper and The Bounty Hunter...I watched all these from morning to morning...from 10am to 3 or 4am..See?Im so dying for dramas..till my mom was kinda scared of me...for not going out for two days..Its miracle for her! LOL..cause I used to go out with friends till late on weekends and we really have such a rare time to talk on weekends..:)

But not now...as all of them were on vacations overseas...I was the only one that left here..hahahhh..Its okay...Im used to it..and Im gonna have my holidays soon..so, just stick with these dramas...Happy Holiday People!

SG..Again..

I got my holiday on 23rd September this month! I bought return tickets to SG at 2am last saturday..Crazy..isnt it? Its all happened because of my bestfriends..Vin and Adut..that always convince me to go SG that date...since Vin has back couple days ago..and Adut will transit there at 23rd till 28th, Its a good reasons for us to gather there..flashbacking our DE times! Miss it sooo..

Actually I've planned to go there at that time as well..But still not sure bout the tickets price and all those leaving permission things..till that night, Vin and adut always told me how fun it will be if we gather there! Goshhh..Im really tempted! and I bought the tickets that night! the tickets quite cheap luckily..heheee...Lice was tempted as well and she joined the trip! I got my leave permission from my office by yesterday and here it is..we'll gather in SG! the fifth of us...Me Lice Vin Adut and Mike..Vit's not coming cause he just back from KL and are now on the trip to China with his family..Lol..

Im dying for the trip..Its SG ! my heaven life is there! and this time, I have all bestfriends when I'm there! how can I be not excited? I love it!

Have told Vin to buy USS tickets first..cause I dun wanna take the risk of not getting any USS tickets on that day..its better to buy in advance right?ughhh...Im dying for all things in USS..the shops, views and coasters..lol...Its gonna be in about two weeks..and I gotta make lots of list for this trip! We gonna do our culinary hobbies, shops, and take picts around..Its gonna be the most exciting holiday ever !

Thanks for the courage and strength you gave me..

Have you ever believe that Friends can give you so much strength and courage when they told you " Everything will be fine " ? I do believe it..and Im feeling so much better now..even my friends not here anymore...Some of them went overseas..for holiday..and Vin has back to sg...looking for a job there..after his nearly 2 months so-called-holiday here..

Im happy with them around..kinda miss them now..huhuuu..but its fine..cause I know even a year or more will never be enough for us...We used to hang out every friday and Saturday ( Okay, we're not asking the rest. just the four of us ) Sometimes we have our breakfast together on Sunday and continue to Matador for coffee till afternoon..I enjoyed it so..and Im feeling so well when they were here...Like no matter what happened and what problems Im facing, I feels like nothing to be scared anymore..funny huh?but its true..and they give me lots of courage and happiness..I do passed all my days by laughter and joy..just by thinking of how funny we are..with those jokes and laughter around...

They said things changed like time changed...Its true..There's so much things changed here..the one who I used to know better than anyone else, turned out to be a stranger to me..and maybe she's feeling the same way...That's my fault..I started all these..Im becoming so crazy that I ruined all things around..do I regret? YES!! I regret all the things I've ever done to them..that maybe has hurt them so much..Sorry for everything..I dint mean it..Its just my fault..I was under lots of pressure that time..and I nid more time alone..thinking bout the next step of my life..while trying to cope with my life here...Im not talking bout the reasons why I've been lots of stress till now..Only Vin knows it..cause I dunno how to tell them..and also dun want to burden them with my problems and all these unrealistic things...I just nid to be alone..and I thot that's the best thing for me..but I neva know that I'll lost lots of my friends because of these...

Maybe that's why I've been feeling so much better when I have my cousin around..and some friends that choose to make me laugh instead of asking me what has happened and why I've been in lots of pressure.Its a personal problems..Im the one who wrong..that make me lost everything..till that day come..when I asked myself.."Do I still have the chance to fix everything? If yes, How?"