Speechless...

Today's my grandma's birthday..we all families celebrate it together at taipan..yes, its the biggest birthday party we've ever had...with two VIP rooms..my cousin's bf was there as well....I dint talk much with him but from the first time I knew him couple years ago, I realised he's a good guy..with a good family background of course...

When I looked at my cousins and the happy faces of my families...I realised that he is the one that they are looking for..a perfect guy that fit the qualifications..

Then everything comes back to me..I wonder how my bf looks like in future ( as I dun have any candidates right now ).will he fits the qualifications?i dunno..and I dun brave enough to think of it..I'm too afraid...that he doesnt fit the qualifications...I'm afraid to see my families disappointed faces...and that makes my pressure bigger and bigger...till my headache comes and i feels like crying soon! I dunno why..I just knew I've been so sensitive these days.

I wish to get one asap..I dun feels like happy with my life now.I knew I got some friends that I could hang out with..every weekends...But every human also need a partner, right? I wonder how my life would be..with a bf around..will it be much more better?or even worse? I dunno. I just knew I saw lots of happiness on my cousins smile when she got one...

I saw happiness around me...and I wonder when will mine come...