Lonely Lonely Life...

Actually I'm having a dinner tonight with John,Jef and Luvi..But don't know why..They suddenly cancel it...huhhhh...I'm so happy two days ago when I received the invitation..but it was cancelled...Fiuhhh...another lonely lonely night...I'm looking forward for weekends..love it soo...hangin out with Sher and Nest..Share our Life story in here..haizzz...I did miss the time We chatted at Starbucks..for hours..till late...but it could only happened in SG!sharing our feelings together can let me forget all my sadness even for just a while..and they are really the one that I could tell what's wrong with me..cause they can also feel it...This sickness..
New Activity on Sunday...Go swimming with Lice...
after that we look for delicious food...hahaa...that's fun..

But that only happens on Weekends...
I still remember last week..Sitting alone at Starbucks..waiting for my mom...(I used to go window shopping every friday after office hours then mom pick me up)
Then I sit alone there..enjoying my favourite "Toffee Nut Frappuccino" that only available on Christmas..
I looked around...Some of them looked at me with weird eyes..maybe they think "what happenned with this girl?sitting alone at Starbucks alone this Friday nite?"..HELLO!!!ITS FRIDAY NIGHT!!!
I'm feeling so bad at that time...and something just make it worst...I saw a bunch of people sitting on the corner...a bunch of them...laughing out loud..joking with each other..Looking so happy that they couldn't stop their laughter..Then I remember those happy times I'm with my friends..just like them..laughing out loud at anywhere..I couldn't help smiling..But after that ..I looked at myself and another chair in front of me..no one is there..What's left is only..Loneliness..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...

Its been a month since the last time I updated this Blog...hmm...Maybe I should just start with my birthday celebration with my dear friends..Those gals...they didn't say anything about "happy birthday" to me..not any of them!I know there'll be a "surprised" actually..Its just so obvious.hahaaa...Then..There it is...we meet up at a K2 after office and all of them celebrate my birthday there...I'm quite happy with it..Though I'm still feeling not to well with my life..

A week later...My family did a birthday celebration for me and my sisters in an orphanage..I've been there before..celebrating my cousin's birthday there...Its quite like a tradition in my family since some years agoo..celebrating birthday in an orphanage has its own happiness for us..really..I'm so busy with the celebration itself..buying some presents for the orphans , meals , cakes and so on...and here comes the day..25th October 2009...We all arrived there earlier to prepare everything...The celebration itself was quite good...There are some moments where I'm almost couldn't hold back my tears..so pity of those childrens..such innocent childrens..There are so many unfair things in life happenned to them before it comes to the time they understand
what life is..omggg...I feel so touched...seeing them singing birthday song for me...and their prayers to God...
What makes me happy is when some of those childrens playing "Happy Birthday" song by using "Angklung"..OMG..Its so awesome!I wanna hear it again someday..

T---T

为什么我一直觉得好难过?
我只是想要快乐一点..
有那么难吗?
真的不想要这样..
这样的心情真的很痛苦...很不自在..
可以回到以前的我吗?
什么都不在乎的我..
没什么大不了的我..
习惯一个人的我..
现在陪伴我的只剩下孤单和寂寞....
突然觉得很不习惯...

Wants to end it all..

Have you ever been so lonely that nothing seems to make sense?
Well..That's how I feel right now..
I feel like I'm facing everything with nothing but tears and a fake smile..

Dunno why I've been so melancholy these days..with no reasons..
I really wants to cry..but why these tears don't fall?
Wanna watch some touching movies that could make me Cry..
Or find some place where I could Scream Out Loud...
Just to throw away all unhappiness in my heart...
I know for sure that cry or scream couldn't make things any better..
I really need some refreshment..
That could help me find back my soul..
How am I supposed to live this life?
Wish I'm not going to be crazy soon..

Loneliness killin' me softly..

I'm sickkk...so sickkk..
When this all will end?
Although I have been really used to this lonely life..
But I couldn't stand this silence..
I'm missin the time we laughed out loud..
Those craziness and noisiness we shared..
But there's nothing I could do..
What others say is true..
We're lot more happier when we were a teenage girl..
No burden..Just having fun and fool around..
Its so impossible to turned back time..
Though I wished for it so much..

Unreal Life

It's almost a month since I started working..
New Friends..New Life..New Society..
Everything just fine...
But Why Everything seems so unreal to me?
Feels that its just a dream..and I'll get back to a real life soon..
But what kind of real life that I want?
I don't know...
I'm still hoping for the best thing to happen..

Friends or Loved Ones?

If there's only one you could choose..
Which one will it be?

Such a tough question...
A Friend of Mine told me that there's no answer to it..
The only perfect answer is to choose both of them..
Can you really spare your time between your friends and loved ones?
NO..!!
It's just a perfect answer..but in reality...
It's what so-called DILEMMA..
Time is all taken by your loved ones..
and you'll forget the time you should spend with your friends..

Loved Ones don't like your friends..
Jealous of how close you are with your opposite friends..
Always that kind of problem..
Maybe I'm wrong...
Or It's just me who dun understand how they feel..
I don't know..
Just let it be how it should be..
I'm too tired to decide the best solution for this problem...