Lonely Saturday...

Blogging again....I just realised I always update my blog on either saturday or sunday..hahaa...thats the consequences for being a lonely person..who dunno where to go and with whom I should go...

Well...I used to go out with John,Jef and Luvi...But now..after jef is on the track on chasing over a girl, I find it kinda weird for me to go out with them...the five of us..got what I mean?Feels like an idiot going out with two couples..haha...I know it's just my thought..they're not feeling that way i guess..cause they always ask me to go out with them almost every saturday night...yeapp..I just feel uneasy when that girl was sticking with me while jef walk behind...( I should give jeff more chances...haha..)thats why..Im considering not too often to go out with them...and which means...I may lose some friends again!huhhhh...that's the consequences for being single...just depends on friends to go out..or family..and if they're busy...I just stay at home..doing nothing...and find this city so small and boring!

And this is what happened today...after two days lying on bed ( cause Im sick! )..I went out with mom and sisters...just go to Ace and dinner..after that we went home at 8pm+...I was too likely waiting a call from a friend...whoever they are...asking me to go out..for a cup of starbucks or whatever...I just want to spend this saturday night like anyone else..sitting in starbucks till late...gossiping or laughing out loud..That's what I want..just that...simple right?But no calls coming in...and I could just desperately coming home...with my mind full of things that I could possibly do at home..and yess...its nothing!damn..!!

Speechless...

Today's my grandma's birthday..we all families celebrate it together at taipan..yes, its the biggest birthday party we've ever had...with two VIP rooms..my cousin's bf was there as well....I dint talk much with him but from the first time I knew him couple years ago, I realised he's a good guy..with a good family background of course...

When I looked at my cousins and the happy faces of my families...I realised that he is the one that they are looking for..a perfect guy that fit the qualifications..

Then everything comes back to me..I wonder how my bf looks like in future ( as I dun have any candidates right now ).will he fits the qualifications?i dunno..and I dun brave enough to think of it..I'm too afraid...that he doesnt fit the qualifications...I'm afraid to see my families disappointed faces...and that makes my pressure bigger and bigger...till my headache comes and i feels like crying soon! I dunno why..I just knew I've been so sensitive these days.

I wish to get one asap..I dun feels like happy with my life now.I knew I got some friends that I could hang out with..every weekends...But every human also need a partner, right? I wonder how my life would be..with a bf around..will it be much more better?or even worse? I dunno. I just knew I saw lots of happiness on my cousins smile when she got one...

I saw happiness around me...and I wonder when will mine come...

I wish you leave me...

I'm feeling bad today...Last day at office this week...I should be smiling right?
NOPE!! I was told to work OT by tomorrow...to help those marketing thingy..Shittt!!
I'm so pissed off!!!I'm not happy with it..although I'll get high pay for OT, I still prefer to enjoy my weekend..releasing all stressing things I have...
I back home and only to find out my aunties were having their dinner...I joined them (Unwillingly).
I asked whether I got a car to drive tomorrow...Her answer was just too harsh..she said why should she be so troubled whether I got a car or not..Goshhh!!!I hate it soo..I told her I had to OT and if I dint get a car to drive, I wont go to office...Then after they heard what I said..They start badmouthing...saying I should go to office whether I dint get a car to drive.Should be at 7am tomorrow ( Work start on 9am+ actually)...I feel so irritated...Those depressing things I used to have, come again..I dun like how they take control of my life...It's My LIFE!!! I controlled my own life! Not them! Yet they really like to messed with me..saying what I should done and everything just should go as what they think and said..It's OK if I asked for an advice...But they dint care I ask it or not...they just bla..bla..bla....and I should do what they said! Sorry..I'm not a princess!!and I'm sicked of it!!
I went upstairs only to find out how my sister was so lazy....We did quarreled as I dint like how she likes to shout at me! Heyyy..!!I'm the eldest and She SHOULD Respect me!!! Godddd...
I went to bathroom and did cry for 5 minutes..Idk...I'm so stressed today...I feels like wanna run away from home..Where I could have my own life...do what I want and like...and of course without anyone messed with my life..I dint have any freedom here..I'm sick...and I dunno how long it would last...

Nuts...

They say..."Everybody deserve the best partner for their lives "....Is it True? I just realised that I never deserve the best for the word " Boy "...All comes were just not fit the qualifications..lol...
What's the qualifications then? Idk as well...It did change..just like season change..really..I myself also dunno what kind of qualifications fit me best...and that's the only reasons I still enjoy my single life..Not like some of my friends who choose to be in a relationship with someone out there...Or even got married in their early age..

I knew I'm not a Princess..who could pick any guy out there...But yess.."I'm that picky"...Its not easy for me to find my other half.I'm not like most people..who could just get into a relationship when they feel that the feels were just right..I'm not...I should be responsible to myself..I'm looking for a long relationship..that's why It's too difficult.really...My family's qualifications was too high as well..till I've ever think of letting them choose a guy for me..that suits them..and suits the qualifications..hahaa..I dunno whether I got the ability to choose my other half later in life..

Maybe some of you face this kind of problem..while some not...Did you laugh when you read this? " maybe "...lol...

What's the best solutions then? I know there will be no solutions...The only thing I could do was only...Hope..and prayyy!!hahaa...so lets...Hope and pray for me..

Even if later I got the worst guy ever, dont laugh at me for being too picky..maybe its just my destiny..But now...still hopeee and prayy..okay?I'll pray for all of you as well...for my friends.and for all who read this..may you get your other half as soon as possible!!

Best Regards...

Insanity...

I knew I'm not the perfect person you're looking for...
From the history you've heard about me...
I knew...I'll never be the one...
Yet, I'm still too afraid...I'm too scared that one day..
I'd really fall for you...

That's called "insanity", huh?
Just by discussing something about you...
We're once afraid..that we'd fall for you...
Is it real?
Maybe I should just stop this insanity..
Before I'd become really insane...and fall for you...

Trippp..Trippp..Holidayy..Holidayyy...

First day....( 14th April 2010 )

Reached SG at 11+...Went to check in at the hotel then went out to shoppp(again)..Lol...shop till late...Then I was back to hotel around nine...carrying my favourite pastamania,chic cutlets,sweet talks,and soooo mannnnyyyy things I bought at Orchard...at the time I started my dinner,Vin called me...We did chatted for such a long timee..gossipping and I told him what has happened currently...we gossipped till an hour plus then suddenly I felt itchiness all over my body...Goshhh!!I felt those itchiness on my neck during afternoon..and its all red..I stopped touching it and it became normal again..But why those itchiness come again?at night?all over my body?Goshhh...I told Vin that I'm gonna take a bath and would call him later...I really wish that after bath, those itchiness would stop...but what happened was...My face became all red when I started to wash off my make upp..OMG...My Convocation is Tomorrowww!!!How can I go with a face like that?after taking bath, I got myself changed and I went to hospital...which was luckily near to my hotel...It's 10.30pm and I went to the emergency room...I saw a doctor...he initially was about to give me an injection with high dose but he was so shocked when he found out that I'm going to hospital alone..without no one accompany me...He then give me an injection which was less drowsy..then I went back to hotel...on my way back, I called Vin and we still chatted till my Mom arrived hotel...We did laughed with the fact that my first day in SG was ended in hospital...LOL...

Second day...( 15th April 2010 )

I'm feeling good that day...Going to SIM at 10 after picked Renny up at Paragon...We waited for our friends in Bsc. Accounting n Finance...Their Convocation was in morning...After their ceremony, We took lots of photographs....It was FUN!!!to have gathering with lots of UNi-Friends...taking lots of photosss....
Then It's the time when I found out everything was a lie..WTF with going to sg on 10th april?All was a LIE! A Big LIE!!!GOshhhhh....I've been fooled for almost a year...GOddd!!
MY grads ceremony was at noon...and it started at 3pm...I got asleep during the ceremony....IT was sooo boringgg!!!!Then it ended at 4pm plus...I met up with Vin and Mike....I did told them to give me that UOL doll...and they really bought that!lol..Vin's said that he firstly think of buying that doll for me but he was afraid that I already got one...The doll was so cute..and I loved it sooo..We did take lots of picturess..all gradution thing ended at 6pm plus and I got back to hotel...We then went to Wisma Atria and had our dinner...

Third dayy...( 16th April 2010 )

My mom got an appointment for check up that day..and we went to hospital...I also saw a doctor which was specialised in cough and respiratory...I got cough for few months already...
After all those check up thingy, we then had our lunch at Din Dai Fung...I love the fried rice so muchhhh....We went to Bugis after lunch and shopped so much things there...

Fourth Day...( 17th April 2010 )

It's Universal Studio's Dayyy....!!!(Another Post)

Fifth Day....(18th April 2010 )

My last day in SG...My mom Bought me an IPhone..for my graduation gift....(Thanks mom!)...We then shopped again..mom bought lots of things...and our luggage were so heavy like hell when we back medan..hahaaaaaa....

It was quite an unique holiday..starting from having an allergy,end up in hospital,convocation,Uss...and those shopping thinggss!!!I'm gonna miss these days I spent in SG!

Days to Another Holiday...

It's been a week since I back here...I've been soooo busy these days till I dint have time to update my blog....
First of all....my holiday....hmmm...all goes like what I expected...and it's an unforgettable holiday! Feels like crazy the first time we go club..hahaaa..but it was fun...and a day with Vin was also sooo funnnn....We went out from 11am to 2am...15 hours..sounds crazy, isnt it?hehehhhh...

I bought lots of things there..and planned to continue my shopping the next two days...when I go back to SG againnn..It's Convocation!you know?We'll have so much fun by going back to our universityy....

But one thing that I'm so curious..The thing that I'll definitely find out during convocation...and the answer will be revealed at that time...If it really was a lie...I'll feel that I'm the most idiot person on earth...being lied by someone for so longgg....and it was definitely a very long lie-story...I'm still hoping it wasn't a lie...I'm still hoping for the best...