T---T

为什么我一直觉得好难过?
我只是想要快乐一点..
有那么难吗?
真的不想要这样..
这样的心情真的很痛苦...很不自在..
可以回到以前的我吗?
什么都不在乎的我..
没什么大不了的我..
习惯一个人的我..
现在陪伴我的只剩下孤单和寂寞....
突然觉得很不习惯...

Wants to end it all..

Have you ever been so lonely that nothing seems to make sense?
Well..That's how I feel right now..
I feel like I'm facing everything with nothing but tears and a fake smile..

Dunno why I've been so melancholy these days..with no reasons..
I really wants to cry..but why these tears don't fall?
Wanna watch some touching movies that could make me Cry..
Or find some place where I could Scream Out Loud...
Just to throw away all unhappiness in my heart...
I know for sure that cry or scream couldn't make things any better..
I really need some refreshment..
That could help me find back my soul..
How am I supposed to live this life?
Wish I'm not going to be crazy soon..

Loneliness killin' me softly..

I'm sickkk...so sickkk..
When this all will end?
Although I have been really used to this lonely life..
But I couldn't stand this silence..
I'm missin the time we laughed out loud..
Those craziness and noisiness we shared..
But there's nothing I could do..
What others say is true..
We're lot more happier when we were a teenage girl..
No burden..Just having fun and fool around..
Its so impossible to turned back time..
Though I wished for it so much..

Unreal Life

It's almost a month since I started working..
New Friends..New Life..New Society..
Everything just fine...
But Why Everything seems so unreal to me?
Feels that its just a dream..and I'll get back to a real life soon..
But what kind of real life that I want?
I don't know...
I'm still hoping for the best thing to happen..

Friends or Loved Ones?

If there's only one you could choose..
Which one will it be?

Such a tough question...
A Friend of Mine told me that there's no answer to it..
The only perfect answer is to choose both of them..
Can you really spare your time between your friends and loved ones?
NO..!!
It's just a perfect answer..but in reality...
It's what so-called DILEMMA..
Time is all taken by your loved ones..
and you'll forget the time you should spend with your friends..

Loved Ones don't like your friends..
Jealous of how close you are with your opposite friends..
Always that kind of problem..
Maybe I'm wrong...
Or It's just me who dun understand how they feel..
I don't know..
Just let it be how it should be..
I'm too tired to decide the best solution for this problem...

Laughh..

It's so weird that my mood changes suddenly todayyy..
Being a bit unhappy for few days..
And this is the first day I laugh so hard!
Picked up a call from a friend...
And from that moment..
I couldn't help but laughing like crazy..
Until now...I keep on smiling every time I remember the news!LOL..

What is the news actually?
How funny is it ?
It is actually a good news..and a happy news as well..
It's about a friend of mine..
and I think a New Relationship is waiting for her..hahaaa...

Life in Singapore...Life in Medan...

Suddenly miss my life in Sg so much...
Maybe I should say..I've always miss my life in Sg!!
Miss the Food!Shops!Movies!Life!
The only place where I could do everything alone...
Maybe it sounds so funny...
Yeshh! I also can do everything here..
But I don't feel right being here..
Find out that there's something missing..
"My Freedom"...

In Sg...
Its just okay if I'm going anywhere alone..
But what the hell with people here staring at me when I'm going out alone..
Is it Weird?NO!!It's just that they are not used to be going everywhere alone!
And that bothered me so..
I never feel lonely when I dun have any single friend in Sg...is it sound unrealistic?
I find it so unrealistic!But that's the truth..
Till now..
I'm always wondering if I'm making such a bad decision of going back here..


My friends...
Some change..just like how life changes from time to time..
There's no such things called "High School Times"..
Friendship change when Relationship change...
I feel bored..I feel lonely..
When I'm facing the reality that friends I trusted most are separated from me..
Maybe they are right..Life must goes on..
We are living for the future..not for the past..

Life in Medan...
Just like how I should settle down in other country..
Sounds funny , huh?
Like what I previously said..
I don't feel right being here..
My hometown but its residence don't get the warmth of her own hometown..

And that's the only reasons I made this blog..
When I don't have anybody to talk to..
When there's only me..in my Loneliness..