Bleeding

Today, once again...I witness the happiness of others..without getting the idea of when mine will come.. Im kinda feel bad today..so weird having this feeling right? Im supposed to be happy for them.and yes, Im happy for the two couples. but between that happiness, I envy them. for having such a great partner for each other...

Then here I am...home earlier today as I actually feel kinda weird going out with the two couples. better stay at my rooms. with my lappy, dvds, novels n musics..

I hate loneliness. but sometimes its better to be alone and happy rather than having lots of peoples around but feel so empty. know what? I can fake a smile.or even a laugh. Im good at acting happy in front of others. and no one will know that Im bleeding inside. Funny,huh? for playing fake to others. But I think thats good. for not ruining others mood by showing how i really feel..

In the end, Im bleeding again today.bleeding inside.drowning to my own nightmares by seeing too many happiness in front of me. Im selfish.dont I?